Let Me Lead

In Jr. High I was in a musical called "At the Hop". It was a production put on by my church. The show was set in the 1950's and of course swing dancing was a big part of it. I can still hear my partner's voice humming along to the one of the songs in my ear: "lleeeeetttt meeee leeeeaaadd!" I didn't like leeeettting him leeeeaaad mainly because he was type #3. Type #1 leads: In swing dancing this leader doesn't know what the heck he's doing and it's terrible. The three minute long song couldn't be longer. You wonder if the person might be deft. It truly is a painful experience. Every lead has been there. Every follow has been there. It's just part of dancing. Type #2 leads: This lead you have danced with before. You know what to expect and it's very comfortable. Each move he makes is predictable and has a flow to it that is easy to follow because essentially he always does the same thing. There's no challenge here which is comfortable and safe. It's also a lot of fun... but at a point (if you're anything like me) you get bored with it. Type #3 leads: These leaders are the worst. They know what they're doing. You've danced with them before, but you cannot help but not trust their judgement. Their style is just off and doesn't mesh well with you and how you like to dance. They sometimes go off and do their own thing without giving you any heads up. Why don't you just dance by yourself? Type #4 leads: This lead is amazing. He has been dancing for ages. He's beyond the point of developing his own 'style' (i.e. Type #3) and has embraced simply dancing to dance. It's easy to get caught up in 'doing the right steps' and not branch out. This lead knows all the right steps, but isn't confined to them. He's still operating within a 'package' of dance, but nothing is predictable. To dance with a type #4. you have to completely trust them and pay really close attention. No matter how many times you might have danced with them they always always will throw something new your way. That's just their style. Tonight I was able to follow 'Type #4s" and keep up. If you have ever been swing dancing you'll know what I'm talking about. I was literally proud of myself for keeping up if just a little. To keep up I had to let go of the 'box of rules' and JUST listen to the music and do..whatever. It's terrifying, but completely amazing at the same time. I am never as happy as when I'm dancing completely free of the predictable. I can't help but think that God's a type #4. He's completely unpredictable, but still works within the 'package' of 'I'm doing what's best for you' even if we don't know exactly what that means the structure is still there...it's just the moves and order that change constantly. To keep up it takes time and practice, but primarily it takes trusting our partner to not let us fall. I stumble all over myself a lot of the time, but if I just let go and literally listen to each note of the music... somehow it comes and you figure out the steps. That's sappy I guess, but it makes sense if you dance I think. Anyways, that's all. Sweet Dreams. Lllleeeetttt hiiimmmm leeead. -Shanna

Wherever you are, be all the way there.

I haven't written on this thing in awhile and this post will be quick, but I have the urge to write and not finish my readings that are due tomorrow. I completed my first quarter at the University of Washington and went to Scotland this summer. During the eight week quarter I got extremely sick, cried a lot, and wrote about twelve papers. It was a horribly difficult quarter, but it made Scotland that much better. I originally planned the trip to visit this girl here:

Eilidh Power is this AWESOME Scottish girl that I got to spend 6 months with in Australia, Thailand, UAE, and South Africa. She also visited me in America...so this was our 5th continent together. I hadn't seen her for two years and although I had originally just planned the trip to see her I got to see so many other things :D I got to see Edinburgh, Stirling, Glasgow, the Isle of Skye, castles, sheep, the highlands, and a lot of other AMAZING things. This is Eileen Donan Castle. One of my favorite shots from the trip.

Not only did I get to see amazing scenery, I was able (if only for a moment) to see myself from a different perspective. Something I know about myself is that I get lost so much in my future plans and the right now that I overwhelm myself to the point of exhaustion. It makes me a bad friend, a bad daughter, and just not an enjoyable person to be around. I know it about myself, but seeing it from a macro perspective (probably not the right word...but you know what I mean) was really discouraging and convicting. There's so much I want to do and see, but that's not what it's all about is it? If you forget about the now in the process it's a waste of the now. Anyways, it was really good and I hopefully will be able to balance my time and energy and that will encourage a more healthy mind, spirit, and Shanna-in-general. :) I'm very thankful for new beginnings. Before I left I was very disappointed and discouraged. I felt stuck. God showed me that my 'stuck' doesn't bother him and quite frankly he couldn't care less about it. All he cares is what I'm going to do now. All I think I can do right now is love him. I'll start there and see how it turns out. As usual, I heard this wonderful song on the radio today and now I can't remember it. I can't remember one lyric, artist, or even what they were singing about. However, I do like this one and hope you will too. It's been very encouraging lately. All Sons and Daughters: "Alive" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-vmvVnRPlY Wherever you are, be all the way there. No regrets. Not wishing you were somewhere else. Make the right now not just tolerable but wonderful. -Shanna

The Gift of Free Will

"Perhaps the greatest test of faith for the Christian today is to believe that God is good." -Paul E. Little

I was asked today why bad things happen to good people if God is 'good'. It's one of the hardest questions I think a Christian has to ask themselves and answer. If God is good why is Fern HIV+, why did my Uncle die of cancer, and why do I have to watch those I love suffer on a regular basis? Although I cannot claim to understand pain like some have known it I do know this struggle and this question. I found what J.B. Phillips had to say on the subject to be really well stated.

"Evil is inherent in the risky gift of free will. God could have made us machines but to do so would have robbed us of our precious freedom of choice, and we would have ceased to be human. Exercise of free choice in the direction of evil in what we call the "fall" of man (Adam and Eve's sin in the garden of Eden) is the basic reason for evil and suffering in the world. It is man's responsibility, not God's. He could stop it, but in so doing would destroy us all (we would cease to be humans). It is worth noting that the whole point of real Christianity lies not in interference with the human power to choose, but in producing a willing consent to choose good rather then evil." -J.B. Phillips

It's really hard to remember God is good when horrible things happen to you or someone close to you. I read a newspaper today. Damn, those things are depressing! We're surrounded by 'evil' 'bad' 'sin' every day. I'm thankful that I do believe in someone who will overcome this reality. If I didn't believe in him I don't know how I would deal with reality.

-Shanna

A Love Letter

I haven't read or posted something this sappy in a LONG time. ;) It's long and a bit repetitive but it speaks truth. Give it a read if you like. This was a letter I wrote out in my journal in September of 2009 (a month after arriving in Australia).

Dear *enter name here*,

You may not know me but I know everything about you. *Psalm 139.1*

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. *Psalm 139.2*

I am familiar with all your ways. *Psalm 139.3*

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. *Matthew 10:29-31*

For you were made in my image. *Genesis 1:27*

In me you live and move and have your being. *Acts 17:28*

For you are my offspring *Acts 17:28*

I knew you even before you were conceived. *Jeremiah 1:4-5*

I chose you when I planned creation. *Ephesians 1:11-12*

You were not a mistake for all your days are written in my book. *Psalm 139:15-16*

I determined the exact time of birth and where you would live. *Acts 17:26*

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. *Psalm 139:14*

I knit you together in your mother's womb. *Psalm 139:13*

And brought you forth on the day you were born. *Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. *John 8: 41-44*

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. *1 John 4:16*

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. *1 John 3:1*

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. *1John 3:1*

I offer you more than your earthly Father ever could. *Matthew 7:11*

For I am the perfect Father. *Matthew 5:48*

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. *James 1:17*

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. *Matthew 6:31-33*

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. *Jeremiah 29:11*

Because I love you with an everlasting love. *Jeremiah 29:11*

My thoughts towards you are as countless as the seashore. *Psalm 139:17-18*

And I rejoice over you with singing. *Zephaniah 3:17*

I will never stop doing good to you. *Jeremiah 32:40*

For you are my treasured possession. *Exodus 19:5*

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. *Jeremiah 32:40*

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. *Jeremiah 33:3*

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. *Deuteronomy 4:29*

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. *Psalm 37:4*

For it is I who gave you those desires... *Philippians 2:13*

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. *Ephesians 3:20*

For I am your greatest encourager. *2 Thessalonians 2:16-17*

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles *2 Corinthians 1:3-4*

When you are broken-hearted, I am close to you. *Psalm 34:18*

As a shephard carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. *Isaiah 40:11*

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. *Revelations 21:3-4*

And I'll take way all the pain you have suffered on this earth. *Revelations 21:3-4*

I am your Father, and I love you ever as I love my son, Jesus. *John 17:23*

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. *John 17:26*

He is the exact representation of my being. *Hebrews 1:3*

He came to demonstrate that I am for you not against you. *Romans 8:31*

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. *2 Corinthians 5:18-19*

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. *2 Corinthians 5:18-19*

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. *1 John 4:10*

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. *Romans 8:31-32*

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. *1 John 2:23*

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. *Romans 8:38-39*

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. *Luke 15:7*

I have always been Father, and will be Father. *Ephesians 3:14-15*

My question is, will you be my child? *John 1:12-13*

I am waiting for you. *Luke 15:11-32*

I dunno why but this really hit me tonight. I'll be honest, I haven't picked up my Bible in quite some time and even so this was really encouraging to me. Thus I hope it blessed you in someway as well. Goodnight.

-Shanna

A Story

I found this article to be especially enlightening especially when one considers topics such as diversity and morality. Your thoughts?

http://thebestschools.org/bestschoolsblog/2011/12/03/wrong-culture-right-teacher%E2%80%99s-surprising-discovery/

motivation.cause.reason.

What is motivation? Well, a motivated person is someone who has cause to act or do something.

Where does motivation come from? It follows that motivation is the prompting of an individual to action by a desire to accomplish a said 'cause'.

Why do we experience motivation? A person sees a cause and it is valuable enough to that individual to be acted upon.

Inversely, why do we experience a lack of motivation? Again, it follows that the said cause that motivates us is not as worthy of our energy as we thought. So too it is possible that the cause is worthy of our energy but we face barriers that seem more pertinent at the time. Barriers being anything from ourselves to financial insufficiency.

What/Who motivates us? It has been suggested that a 'cause' motivates us; however, someone is usually behind a cause. The cause to acquire a form of employment can be initiated by our parents' desire for us to move out or by our own desire to buy the latest iphone (which is ridiculous by the way).

Have you ever just stopped and wondering, "Why am I doing this?" In the midst of everyday life you don't often think about motivation. You get up. You get dressed. You go about your business. You just do it. Yet when you are faced with an obstacle the cause is crucial because it determines your success. If your cause is not more valuable then the net impediments you will lose. It's important that your cause be congruent to your being.

Sometimes, I have to convince myself that my cause is more pertinent then my obstacles. I know it is but how I feel comes and goes everyday. Knowledge of the truth is what gets me through it all. Knowledge has more power then feelings but I feel deeply. Thus it's hard (sometimes beyond words) to remember truth when your feels are in the way, but if you give into your feelings you value them over the said knowledge. And thus how you feel (which is by no means a constant) is more valuable to your inner being then the truth that you have claimed to live by. That is a scary reality of how important it is to have a worthy cause and to know it well. Otherwise your ever-changing feelings will be what motivates you.

Now, the first thing that should come to mind is 'well, feelings motivate me every day'. This is not the point. The point is that under neither those emotions should be your constant, the cause. Yes, feelings prompt us to action everyday but the feelings we act upon should be the ones that are congruent with our cause. In fact, they are.

That all made sense to me but I don't know if it did to anyone else. That's alright I guess. Now, what is my motivation to do homework...finals tomorrow.

Blessings,

-Shanna

Winter, 2011-UW Arboretum

Favorite: "Careful"-Guster http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEFRELihaxA&ob=av2n

Some stuff

You know when you're a kid a swear you won't EVER do something like I dunno date or get married or kiss or have sex or whatever. I realized the other day that I have made statements just as rash as "I'll never kiss anyone". For example, I excessively judge people who sleep on the couches in the library at school. They have a bed somewhere (I mean that's the assumption anyways) why not use their bed? I would never sleep on the library couches!

On Thursday...I fell asleep in the library. *sigh* judge-able. finals you caught up to me

A side note: I have watched this video about twenty times since yesterday afternoon when I discovered it. Please... enjoy :) I may have to start watching this show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp-jZyzQSms

Here are some more pictures I took.

That's all. I mainly just wanted to show you all that video.

-Shanna ;)