It's Beautiful.

Lets face it it all sucks.

You heard me right. In high school I was convinced that I would never go through so many traumatic experiences when I got older. It was so difficult having my meals, gas, and education paid for... my unnamed second mom (one of them anyways) said in response to my dramatic statement, "wait till you have hot flashes..."

Every time in life is hard... child to grandparent. Where was I going with this? Oh! Ok, I'm reading this book. It's called, The Little Book of Atheist Spirituality by Andre Comte-Sponville. I saw it at Goodwill for $2 and decided to read it. It has actually been quite fascinating to me despite the poor title choice.

Andre discusses the fact that no one knows if there's a God or not. I agree with this statement to some extent. I believe there is a God based off of my own experiences, research, and observations... but most importantly because of revelation and faith. He responds to this by saying, "How can we object to that, except by saying that revelation is valid only for those who believe in it and thus cannot be used, unless you enjoy vicious circles, to found the very faith that validates it?"

This leads me to a similar subject that I'd like to discuss for a moment. Lets say I'm right. There's a God. He's good. Jesus is his son and he came to earth and saved us. He paid the ultimate price and loves us more than we can comprehend. It's beautiful. With the realization that I am indebted to my savior... I strive to love him and love others. I fail but I want to and will myself to. He gives me help and guidelines. Some of these clash with those I love dearly. They do things and believes things that I don't. My response is vital to not only my faith but my relationships with these people.

When you state you're a Christian, Democrat, Atheist, Buddhist, Republican, Sexist, Feminist, Racist...anything... you represent that people group to the world that you interact with. A dear friend of mine once told me that I wasn't like any Christian he'd ever met. I took it as a compliment although I don't know if it was one or not.

Ok- this does all tie together, I promise. So... Andre says that my revelations or faith isn't something I can use as an argument because it's not true for everyone. Ok- I get it.

Sooo.... with that said what about my (I guess you could say) "moral convictions." I can not expect someone who doesn't believe what I believe to be held to these "moral convictions" as I do. They believe and follow something completely different... so why impose my standards on others? Ok lets say I believe X about something and someone else believes Y about something. They impose their Y believes on me. I impose my X beliefs on them. My X beliefs are based off of my 'revelations' my 'faith' theirs... based off of their 'revelations' or 'faith'.

Everyone has faith. Atheists have to believe their isn't a God because in the end... we do not know.

Love. "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

In the end I guess it does all come down to love. You have to love through it- agree or not. Love is the only way to handle all this nonsense. I don't know how to respond. I don't know how to say no all the time. I don't always know what to do or how to respond or how to act or what's right or what's wrong but I do know how to love. I can love. I can love those around me. Everyone deserves love. I'm not talking romantic love here. I'm talking pure innocence. I'm talking the love that is patient and kind and forfeits all rights for someone else who didn't deserve it. It's beautiful. I've felt that kind of love and it's beautiful. That love I can share. That's all I know what to do right now.

I know there will be at least one cynic out there who will say, "psh! love... who needs that." Everyone needs that. "baby, it's a fact" ;) It's sappy. I sound naive... but hey- call me naive. call me sappy. call me blind. call me whatever the hell you want. It's beautiful.

-Shanna

(Lake Curlew, September 2011)