As you progress in life from infant, to child, to teen, to young adult your relationship with your parents changes just as dramatically as you do in that short period of time. Mom goes from nurturer to caretaker from sweet 'mommy' to flat... 'mom'. Each stage differs depending upon personalities, age, and gender.
My parents and I have had our ups and downs. Having been raised with four to six siblings (my cousins at one point) I constantly have been surrounded by many others in need of attention, love, and advice. I remember in high school the bombardment of mom when she would walk in the door. Eleya, Donnie, and I would want social, academic, and personal advice. Clayton and Ellen were similar. My mom raised five children and home-schooled all of them. During this time she was a pastor's wife and fulfilled many duties that the role entails such as counseling, teaching on Thursday mornings, childcare, homegroups, etc. etc. etc. In high school my mom also taught speech and debate club, taught classes once a week, and worked in a near by school district as a substitute teacher. She's basically super woman.
My dad's pretty cool too. He has not only been a wonderful nurturer but a great husband as well. As I've gotten to know my dad more over the past few years I've realized a lot of things I admire about his personality and gifts that I didn't identify as a child. Compassion, patience, and humility are some of the main qualities I see in him. They are ones that I struggle with and probably the reason I notice them in him so often-his strengths are some of my many weaknesses. I also admire his resilience and growth through the many difficult layoffs our family has faced. He's a hard worker. I love that my peers, co-workers, and family all refer to my dad as one of the greatest guys they know. My friends often say, "Yah well you're dad's just amazing sooo..." He really is amazing.
I'll be honest it's odd being an adult and living with your folks. So often schedules, personalities, and standards don't match up. Expectations are hard to communicate and keep realistic. However, I look back over the past couple of years of living at home and I think they're some of my favorite times. Slowly but surely my parents are becoming less my parents and more my friends. The development of independence is a long road and once you think you've got things under control you realize that you're on the phone in tears with daddy and mommy (again) asking for their advice.
Although I want to become friends with my parents I also never want to lose the parent-child relationship that I have. Tonight I curled up on my bed and let out about a years worth of frustrations, fears, anxieties, and thoughts. My parents listened. Through misunderstands and differences there were some confusions. In the end though they just listened, spoke truth, and pointed me back to God.
I am excessively thankful for my folks. We have our many differences and we always have and we always will. (I think what causes our differences is actually our similarities if that makes any sense!) However, I have both my parents who love me and each other and God. That right there is rare. If you can find love in your relationship with your folks or one of your parents don't take it for granted. It's a gift to be able to continue to learn from the ones who taught me most everything. I love them so much and am very grateful for my crazy, weird, semi-dysfunctional, beautiful family that I have.
Sorry... I know. It was disgustingly sappy but it was honest. ;)
-Shanna
(Taken at Joe and Karen Larson's Wedding, Oct. 2011)
No comments:
Post a Comment